Can Being On A Dating Site Get You In Trouble With Work

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Be careful not to violate company policy

Jul 21, 2020 And, posting some personal opinions can also get you in trouble, or even cost you your job, depending on the code of conduct at your company. Read on for specifics about situations where what you post may result in you getting fired, along with some simple, straightforward guidelines for how to conduct yourself online. Romance scams reached a record $304 million in losses reported to the FTC in 2020. That’s up about 50% from 2019. Romance scammers create fake profiles on dating sites and apps, or contact their targets through popular social media sites like Instagram, Facebook, or Google Hangouts. Nov 30, 2009 The following dating challenges seem to be common to most smart people. In fact, the smarter you are, the more clueless you will be, and the more problems you're going to have in your dating life. Once upon a day I used to be pretty smart, and believe me, I had a lock on clueless.

Table of Contents
Table of Contents
  • Job Searching (or Working) From Work
  • How to Be Smart About Social Media

It's not uncommon to see stories in the news about employees who were fired because of their online posts. While social media can help you boost your career, connect with recruiters, and power a job search, it can also cause harm to your reputation.

Posting company business (good or bad) or that you hate your employer are definite no-nos. It's also a bad idea to share on social media that you have a job offer before telling your boss and colleagues at your current position. And, posting some personal opinions can also get you in trouble, or even cost you your job, depending on the code of conduct at your company.

Read on for specifics about situations where what you post may result in you getting fired, along with some simple, straightforward guidelines for how to conduct yourself online.

Violating Company Policy

Many companies have a policy in place about what types of post are not allowed. Even if your company does not have one, a good rule of thumb is to avoid sharing anything about your job on social media that would make you cringe if you said it aloud to your company's CEO or your manager.

Here are a few examples of posts that can be a problem:

  • Sharing warnings or personal company information — We've all heard the stories, like that one person who was fired ahead of schedule when he shared the news that he had received a warning with all his contacts on LinkedIn. That news got relayed to his boss, and he was out of a job immediately. Posting about staffing decisions, new products, or any private or proprietary information is usually not a good idea. A good rule of thumb: If your company hasn't shared the information online, hold off on your own post.
  • Providing references/endorsements on LinkedIn: Does your company have a policy prohibiting references? You may wind up getting a warning from your Human Resources department if you write a personalized plug of a former colleague at the company on their LinkedIn page.
  • Negative comments about your job or clients: Most social media platforms have privacy settings. Still, even with those in place, the world can be very small. If you are friends with a co-worker and post something, details on your Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter post can spread through your whole office, including to your manager or HR department. It's very easy for anyone to take a screenshot of your post, too. So think twice before posting how boring your job is, or how much you hate it.
  • Deceptive posts: Did you take a sick day, then go to the beach? Probably everyone plays hooky at least once in their life, but do yourself a favor and do not post the evidence online.
  • Off-color, racist, sexist, or inappropriate comments: This is particularly problematic if the comments are about your co-workers or clients. But, any very offensive comment could potentially be an issue if it goes viral, and is associated with your company. No business wants the bad PR that comes along with an employee's poorly worded or offensive tweet or Facebook post.

It's a good idea to ask your HR department if they have any social media policy. And even if they do not, avoid sharing proprietary details about the company.

Can Being On A Dating Site Get You In Trouble With Work Today

Job Searching (or Working) From Work

Job searching from work is an issue as well. In addition to the ethical issue of job hunting on your employer's dime, using your office computer is problematic if your company has guidelines on computer use on the job.

It's the same scenario if you have a side hustle that you end up spending work time on. Many companies prohibit using work computers for personal business.

Dan Prywes, an expert in labor and employment law, says 'Employers are within their rights to limit social networking site access and resume posting, and you need to be prepared for the consequences when you post online.'

Employers have the right to check what's on your computer because it's not really yours — it belongs to the company. Make sure you understand when you can get fired for job searching.

Getting Fired

In addition, most states are 'employment at will,' meaning that the company doesn't need a reason to terminate your employment. Employment at will means that an employee can be terminated at any time without any reason (unless there is a prohibited form of discrimination).

Employers are not required to provide a reason or explanation when terminating an at-will employee. If you have an employment contract with your employer or are covered by a collective bargaining agreement, you have more rights, but the company still has the right to fire you for cause, and violation of company policy is cause. Otherwise, you can be terminated for a reason or for no reason at all.

Public posting of your resume or posting the 'wrong' information online can cost you your job, and getting fired can make it harder to get another position.

How to Be Smart About Social Media

Rather than setting yourself up for possibly losing your job, be careful about what and how you post information online. Here's what to think about before you click to post.

  • Post smart. Think before you post and don't take a chance on jeopardizing your job. If you have any doubts, don't post it.
  • Keep it confidential. Don't disclose proprietary information about your employer online — either good or bad news. If it's good news, you may want to ask permission to see if you can post it.
  • Be intelligent. Don't post or send your resume around from work. Use your personal email account, your own devices, and job search carefully if you're currently employed.
  • Be prepared. Be prepared for the consequences if you post something inappropriate. The chances are that someone will see it and you may be in trouble. It's easier not to post in the first place, so you don't have to worry about it getting noticed.

Think Before You Post

Thinking before you post is really good advice. That's because once you post it's hard, if not impossible, to take it back. (Even a deleted Twitter or Facebook post, for instance, may be preserved through screenshots.)

If there is any doubt in your mind about what you can, or can't, say, keep it to yourself. Also, ask yourself whether you really need to say that and what you'll gain from it. The answer is probably not enough to take a chance on losing your job.

The best part about using dating apps is you’ll have the opportunity to date every day if you like, and there’s no doubt about it that no two dates will be the same. When you’re searching for love online, you’ll find men from every walk of life and varied personal backgrounds — that means you will also encounter the spectrum of different personality types.

Many single women who use online dating sites and apps report they have, on occasion, come across badly behaved guys online or when they arrived at the IRL date. Here are eight types of guys you should look out for — and avoid.

1. The Cheap Guy

Dating can be expensive, and no guy wants to break the bank and go to fancy restaurants without a return on his investment. But there are creative and affordable ways to go on dates. For example, you can get to know someone over a cup of soup or pizza at lunch, and if it works out, you can schedule a second date.

However, you might come across someone who doesn’t want to invest in a date. Typically, these guys suggest meeting for coffee, which represents an inexpensive date and a quick “out” if they don’t feel any chemistry.

Dating is a commitment of both time and resources. It takes time to get to know someone, so I’m not a fan of coffee dates. I’ll give you a few examples of coffee dates gone bad from my experience as a dating coach.

On one date, a guy suggested meeting for coffee and brought his own bottle of water. He refused to order a $4 coffee for his date or even buy her water when he arrived. It showed a complete lack of respect for the woman he had invited for coffee. In that case, the woman cut the date short and left.

It’s one thing not to want to spend a lot of money on a first date — it’s another to be rude and miserly.

Can Being On A Dating Site Get You In Trouble With Work

On another date, a guy ordered his coffee from his Starbuck’s app in advance, so by the time his date arrived, he was happily sipping his cup of java. He could have sent her a text asking what she’d like to order, but made it clear they were going Dutch, or she’d be going home thirsty. She asked him why he didn’t offer to order her a coffee, and he replied with “I pre-ordered mine.” She opted to leave.

The guy another dater was meeting sent a text saying he had arrived, and the woman sent a reply that she was three minutes away and asked that he order her a latte. He said OK, and when she arrived, he had ordered the smallest size for less than $3 for her and ordered the largest size for over $4.50 for himself.

He also ordered food for himself in advance, including a croissant and banana because, he told her, he was hungry. In total, he spent $8 on himself for three items and $2.75 for her. As she sipped her small coffee, shaking her head in disbelief, she wondered why he hadn’t ordered the same size beverage for both of them. Needless to say, it was another one-and-done date.

When it comes to coffee dates, if you’d like to have a more meaningful conversation with someone, I suggest making the investment and going to a casual cafe. I’d also carefully vet the person on the phone in advance to avoid disappointment.

2. The Angry Guy

When I’m reading through profiles in search of matches, I often come across a profile of someone who sounds like they have a chip on their shoulder. Usually, their profile comes with a disclaimer, which is a big red flag.

Can Being On A Dating Site Get You In Trouble With Work

A woman I know said she encountered one disclaimer that had written in capital letters “You are not authorized to share, reprint, or use my profile for any reason, and if I find out that you do, I will report you and get you banned.”

If you see a profile with a lot of negative comments on it, that’s a red flag.

I find this to be arrogant and offensive. If someone views your profile and thinks you’d be a good fit for a friend of theirs, why not let them make the introduction on your behalf? This verbiage gave the impression that her potential date would be an angry and threatening guy, so she took a pass.

Another profile said “Don’t contact me if you aren’t thin, don’t look like your profile photos, and lie about anything at all, including your age.” Since he gave a list of reasons not to contact him, his message was clear, and the woman didn’t. She wondered whether she would have been on the receiving end of his criticism if she’d gone on a date with him.

3. The Donnie Downer

It’s not unusual to get online dating fatigue or dating burnout if you’ve been swiping left and aren’t connecting with anyone. But you need to bring your A game to every date; you need to push the restart button and start anew.

Life has its downs, but if that’s all a man focuses on, he’s probably not right for you.

A few profiles I’ve viewed were over 500 words long — way too long-winded. Some people talk about how awful online dating has been for them, while others say they haven’t met anyone yet worth pursuing IRL. One person even said they had trust issues after getting out of a relationship with a partner who had cheated on them.

None of these rants belongs on a dating profile or should be discussed on a phone date or first date. If you come across a profile that has someone talking about losing their job, how their ex ran off with the neighbor, or how they’ve been depressed, take a pass and find someone who will be happy about meeting you.

4. The Narcissist

Occasionally, you’ll meet someone online who acts superior to others. These guys think so much of themselves that they will think very little of you.

Narcissistic men only thing about “me,” not “we.” You’ll probably never come first.

An example would be someone who is vain and says they’re a great catch because they’re handsome and are financially secure. This person will brag about their Ferrari and exotic vacations they’ve been on because it’s all about them.

You’ll rarely see them talk about the desire for a “we” because it’s all about “me.” These guys are charming but live in a fantasy world. It’s quite likely they can’t afford the lease payments on the Ferrari, or they’ve borrowed a friend’s car for a photo opp.

5. The Hookup Guy

Most singles are looking for meaningful relationships. In fact, in the Match Ninth Annual Singles in America Study, researchers found 75% of singles in the study said they are hopeful about finding love, with only 9% of singles looking to date casually.

If you’re looking for a relationship, you shouldn’t go out with guys who want something casual.

However, women often fear men are looking for a hookup, and, depending on which apps they are on or whether they’ve received a random dick pick, they have reason to worry.

If a man’s profile mentions sex, or if he comments on your photo and says you’re sizzling hot, chances are he’s looking for a hookup. Other signs include scheduling a late-night date, so if someone wants to meet for a drink at 10 p.m., make sure you’re unavailable.

6. The Classic Player

Finding a Casanova online isn’t unusual. He’s the guy who makes you feel like you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, and he’s as handsome as can be. He exudes confidence and sexuality, and if you meet, you may melt in his arms like butter.

The problem with this sexy guy is he will probably have you in rotation. You’ll never know for sure if you’re the Friday night date or the Saturday night date, but you’ll never get both nights in the weekend because his date card is full.

You will only waste your time if you date a man who won’t commit, and commitment is what you want.

If you ask him if he’s seeing anyone else, the Classic Player will get defensive and tell you he’s so wrapped up with work these days and spending all of his free time with you.

If you become sexually involved, he’ll bolt in the morning for a “family event” and never take down his profile. Even if his romantic, over-the-top date night with you included saying he thinks he’s falling in love with you, it’s the line he uses to bed you and leave you.

7. The One Who isn’t Over His Ex

They say when one door closes, another opens. While I find that to be true, others say to get over someone you need to get under someone else.

When you meet someone who isn’t over his ex, you’ve got a living ghost in your relationship and are in a no-win love triangle. The tell-tale signs are quite obvious: He has photos of her everywhere on social media or on his phone; he is still connected on Facebook and Instagram; and he starts comparing you to her.

Time does heal all wounds, as they say, and it’s essential to find out if the person you’re meeting with is ready to date. For some, it’s immediate because the previous relationship was on a downward slant for a long time, and they mourned the loss as it was ending.

Any guy you want to date should have moved on from his past relationships.

For others who have been jilted by an ex, they may still have them on a pedestal, and you might fear they could get back together again. Wondering how you’re matching up to the one who got away can make you feel anxious, and that is unhealthy.

Online Dating Not Working

On a dating profile, men often say they’ve just become single after a long relationship ended. On one dating profile I reviewed, a man had written in the first line that he knew the moment he met his ex-wife on their first date that he was going to marry her.

While that sounds romantic, and you can wonder if that would happen to you, it’s a clear sign that he’s not over her, and even though she’s gone, you could end up in the second position in his heart.

8. The Rescheduler

Can Being On A Dating Site Get You In Trouble With Work Or Go

There are many reasons why people have to reschedule that are valid. Some include a business trip, a funeral, or a child who has the flu. In these cases, it’s important to show compassion and reschedule a firm date to get together when the dust settles.

However, there are a group of men who are on dating sites for the ego boost. They want to see likes on their photos by women. They love swiping right to get a mutual match on Tinder or Bumble, and they schedule dates with you that they have no intention of going on.

It’s OK to reschedule dates, but it’s not good if he keeps doing it.

Can Being On A Dating Site Get You In Trouble With Work Experience

Perhaps they’re still in a relationship that’s about to run its course, and they want to check out the options. Or they have a habit of digital window shopping. In either case, you’ve got an unavailable man on your hands, and aren’t you worth meeting someone who has a clean slate just like you do?

Remember to Watch Your Behavior, Too, and Realize That There are Other Fish in the Dating Sea

If you meet someone who fits the description of any of these personality types, know that you’re not alone. And, if you heed our advice and take swift and determined action, you’ll be dodging a bullet. Once that’s resolved, don’t worry. With millions of singles dating online, it’s just a matter of time before you meet someone respectful and kind who is worthy of a woman with your qualities.